In this day and age and this culture, family is an ambiguous word. I think that’s partly good and partly a terrible mistake. If we keep chipping away at the core values of our families in this society what’s left? Our identities are in danger of being dictated by a few, and I don’t trust their motives. Or their sanity, at this point.
Some of you may not understand this yet, but allowing ourselves to be lead around the nose hairs by pop culture and the liberal-run media means we will eventually-if we’re not already-be a lonely bunch of people. It’s hard to have a village when you just have a bunch of empty huts.
To me the word family denotes stability, safety, comfort, learning, some laughing and crying and all the messy stuff of life. I’m certainly a family-centered and home-centered person. But I’ve had to stick with one man through thick and thin, trust God, and build this. That takes effort, and skill, and help. Blood, sweat, tears, sleepless nights and an occasional complete loss of my mind and dignity has been the cost, but the reward has been a full life, rich with laughter and love.
The Bible says in Proverbs 14:1
Contemporary English Version
A woman’s family is held together by her wisdom, but it can be destroyed by her foolishness.
Good News Translation
Homes are made by the wisdom of women, but are destroyed by foolishness.
Every wise woman builds her household, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.
GOD’S WORD® Translation
The wisest of women builds up her home, but a stupid one tears it down with her own hands.
I love to do word studies from the Bible, especially Hebrew words. I found the words for “build” and “house” quite interesting. Maybe you would like to see?
These are just screen shots of an app I use on my phone for Strong’s Numbers of words in the Bible and their definitions.
Our homes are our families, and we “build” by obtaining children. Either by bearing them biologically, adopting, fostering, or sheltering them. This is appealing to me. I had decided at some point in my adult life to become what I had needed as a child. I had decided to build a family, before I knew that it was biblical. And I wouldn’t have gotten very far without my Bible and the Holy Spirit.
I’ve been a fool, and I’ve torn down my family from time to time, but haven’t we all? In time we hopefully see our folly and wise up, pick up the pieces and get back to building. If that’s where you are, my advice is dust-off and get your mind right. Family is worth everything.
As a child my immediate family was small; a single mom and a sister. We had a large extended family- a bunch of nuts fallen off a tree really, but people I very much love and value. They somehow taught me that family sticks together. When you are a member of a family you have a place-you belong, no matter what.
I knew that being a mother (and now a grandmother) was going to be a priority in my life, and that I wanted a family of my own with two parents, but I had no vision for this really, and no tools to hold a house together. Neither did my husband, but we had the same values and the same Savior and so even though we failed time and again, God didn’t. He never once failed us. He always brought us to a place of reconciliation and growth- in us and in Him.
We dug down roots together and He produced the fruit. He still does, and we still do.
Our anniversary is coming up in less than two weeks, and as I reflect on the years past and what family and marriage mean to me, I see the need for encouragement to people like us. You. You’re trying, you’re striving. Let me tell you, without a firm foundation in truth and deep roots in the soil of God’s love, your’e up against a culture that devalues you and your family. Unless you know what and Who you believe and stick to that in good times and bad, battle to keep your promises and vows, you can’t make it.
Our roles as women have been blurred and are currently trying to be erased. I’m so sorry, but no man on earth can do what I do, no matter how he identifies himself. And I don’t want to be a man, no matter how much I like them. Women were told decades ago that they could and should “bring home the bacon, and fry it up in a pan…”, in other words, they should leave a home-centered life and “have it all“, and that really means, doit all and be it all. But no one ever mentioned how exhausting that would be.
Who can be everything to everyone, and do that well? Nobody, that’s who. And so there was the opportunity born for a plethora of experts to help us when we realized we weren’t so great at meeting all the needs of everyone. But the experts only shined brighter lights on our failures, right? We’re never good enough…at being parents, spouses, etc. So then came the “You are enough” campaign where we just stick our heads in the sand and give up trying. We just tell each other how great we are in the midst of our broken homes and self-serving life-styles and then we come to believe we are good enough as is. That things, how they are, are good enough. Even though our marriages are failing, (or never happen) never mind that our kids are selfish little monsters or depressed suicidal messes…or they become homicidal school shooters.
We have the feminists marching all over; but where are they going? I just have to ask what have they accomplished but destruction in our society? I think they should march, free-bleed, and rally right to the third world countries where women are truly oppressed and could use someone to defend the impoverished and enslaved there. There are true needs out in the world that they march right past in my opinion. I’m personally appalled at the feminists and the marches and all the “nasty-women” doings. They embarrass me and other women like me. They don’t empower me one little bit. The feminist agenda is always trying to diminish me, and my family. Shame on them. But this woman doesn’t get pushed around so easily. I’m writing this in the hopes that you will take courage and be who you are too, without someone’s agenda beguiling you to comply with a new world order. For the love! It’s getting crazy out there.
Maybe the feminists could be persuaded to use their abundant energies and focus on some real issues. I’d get behind that. Go girl! Empower women who have none, but we girls here in America, well, we are spoiled and entitled. #truthbomb
Anyway, I’m of the opinion that the feminist agenda has torn down our families, our values and the very framework of our society. We haven’t gotten healthier or better from their efforts, but sick. And tired. We medicate everyone in the family, including the dog, and numb our pain and move through our confusing days, but I ask you, is anyone really better off for all of the efforts of those claiming to liberate us women from our homes? How about we empower our dang selves and liberate ourselves to our homes and families? Sign me up for that one. I’m all in.
I know there are women who need to work and I get that, I used to be one of them.
This post isn’t about them. This is for the women who could have the choice, even if they had to make do with a little less stuff in their lives.
Juggling work, kids and marriage wasn’t easy for me. No one got my best, especially me. When I was able to quit working and stay home with my children, I got lots of flack. My change was seen as a come down. Sad, because I really bloomed once I got comfortable being at home. The choice to quit working and stay home wasn’t supported by many people in my life. Maybe that’s why I’m trying to encourage you if you need that.
Managing my home and being present with my children full-time was tough too. It is a legitimate career and it isn’t for light-weights. Maybe that’s the real problem for some people. And I don’t care that much what people think, if I think I’m right. One example would be this post. I’m positive I’m not making brownie points with a certain demographic. Ya, oh well. I’m pretty over the loud and proud few liberals and feminists running over the top of me and my life, my choices, and my beliefs.
My marriage and kids suddenly had my energies when I chose to go home. Life in general suddenly had more flavor and fullness for all of us when I learned to live at home instead of at my job. I used to just visit my home and family. I spent more time at work, while they were at school and daycare, and driving us all around to our various holding places, than I did at home.
I don’t miss working all day. I love being at home. It’s a privilege I don’t take lightly. I’m a strong woman, who doesn’t feel like she needs the feminists to give her permission for this lifestyle. So, if they try to deny me this, that doesn’t sway me either. I couldn’t care less, except that I’m distressed that other women feel they aren’t valuable without a career or at least hustling somewhere to make a paycheck. Because have mercy, we can’t just live off a man! (I’m told often)
I don’t see myself as just living off my husband, I work and so does he, the facts are he gets a paycheck for his efforts, and because of me and my efforts, he’s able to make a good living. We are partners. I support him and he supports me. One way is with money and the other ways have nothing to do with that. The dollar isn’t the only thing of value.
Money can’t buy a strong home life. It can’t buy what I have. There are so many voices telling you to get busy, be productive and make a name for yourself, but they whisper behind your back that you aren’t enough no matter what you do.
I just wanted to tell you today that as a woman you are important, irreplaceable, and your place in your home is of inestimable value. Don’t let someone take that from you without a fight. I’m a warrior in many ways, and I don’t mind sticking up for you, and myself against the feminist agenda and letting you and the rest of the world know that being a wife is honorable. Being a mother is powerful. Being a homemaker is a noble profession. It takes character and sacrifice. Anyone can go earn a paycheck in this country. But it takes a woman of courage and fortitude to learn to manage a home well enough to sustain it long term. Having said all that, I don’t think you’re wrong for working outside the home, or having a career. I just would like it if we could choose for ourselves and not be shamed into a job or out of our homes so we don’t feel judged by society.
Society is getting mental anyway.
So, to my husband, I say, “Thank you for this opportunity. You’re a strong man for encouraging me to take up my rights as a homemaker, and be willing to forfeit a bigger home and luxury vacations so we can have the kind of life we live. You’re a loving father for considering the children’s need for a full-time mother ahead of your own desire for a bigger bank account. I admire you for being a strong enough man to help me be a strong woman at home.”
To my children I say, “Value your spouse and children, build your home, and flourish!”
To you I say, “Build a life you are proud of and follow your convictions. If you know Jesus and are a woman who loves the Word, then don’t be afraid to live the life you believe is powerful and honorable and healthy. The world is full of liars. Don’t be harassed by popular opinion, and develop your character so that you are satisfied with good things.”
Protecting your family takes valiant effort. It means daily doing small things that make a big difference later on. It’s like planting seeds and tending flowers you won’t see for a long time, and in the future ensuring those flowers remain long after your gone.
Life would be more secure and stable if we could commit to living for the next generations instead of only our own pleasure and entertainment. We don’t stay young forever. One day we will wake up and we will be old. One day, depending on our choices yesterday, we may be surrounded by the people we nurtured and loved above our own ambitions for a time, or else we will be empty.
I encourage you to do some deep soul searching (after you get over being offended by what I’ve written here) and see if what I say isn’t really so. Ask yourself how things might look if you were dedicated to building up your family and influencing the next generations in it.
What would it look like if someone was home?